Civil Conversation

1.  Pain and woundedness has to be voiced (by both sides)
     a.  voiced in such a way that there is NO
          i. Accusation (you are a ____, they're just doing ___)
          ii. Generalizations ("those people", "you always")
          iii.  Interruption of the other
     b.  voiced in such a way that there IS
          i.  "I felt hurt by....." statements
         ii.  "I am hurting because...."

2.  Intentionally, pain has to
          i. subside or
          ii. be set aside (out of sincere love) so that there's space to move beyond pain into healing

3.  One or both sides has to initiate listening to the other person's pain
     i.  Empathizing with the other person's pain
     ii.  The pain has to be validated
     iii.  And once pain is validated, the wounded must acknowledge and initiate the same gesture (if applicable)